Muslims: why does Islam ask men to hit their wives, daughters if they are not following Islam?

And why is adultery & premarital a crime for which stoning & lashing is prescribed? I understand that Muslims want to instill the highest Islamic values in their families to please Allah, but if someone does not want to follow them, why does Islam prescribe such harsh & inhumane punishments? Do you think the daughters & wives who are punished this way will ever turn to Islam again? Don't you think punishing women this way is sick, & a way to take out someone's own frustrations?